TONI'S GETTING MARRIED

I can't think about how to write this blog...I need to just put down the thoughts as they come.
My daughter Toni, is getting married tomorrow. It was kind of, well not "kind of" but it was a fast planned wedding. They decided on Monday to get married and will be married tomorrow. Saturday. Six days later. Again, she isn't pregnant but due to certain circumstances they decided better now than later. BUT ANYWAY.........
I found today that I'm very emotional and have cried on at least 5 different occasions....today alone. Over some really silly stuff. I had to sit down tonight and figure this out.I originally thought, hmmmmm....the prednisone (medication) I'm taking has turned me into a blubbering idiot. I heard it can and does do that so truthfully, that could be a part of it. But........it's because Toni's getting married! My BABY!!
In my head, whenever I think of "Toni getting married" visions of her as a baby and little girl pop into my head. The tears then start. There's something "final" about her getting married. What it is...I don't know exactly but the word FINAL seems to be the best description of how I feel. I suppose I feel like I'm handing her over to someone else to now watch over her. THAT HAS ALWAYS BEEN MY JOB. Toni was always very shy, quiet, and fragile and I have to admit...I babied her, protected her, and babied her some more. I think that once your child gets married, your job as the protector is over.It's like being terminated from that job. It's final......